Maa………..version 2.0!!

“A WORD DOESN’T CONTAIN YOU,
A SENTENCE CANNOT DEFINE YOU,
EVEN THE LIMITLESS SKIES & SEAS AWE YOU,
YOU ARE INFINITY,
AMMA!!”

WE ALL AS KIDS WERE TAUGHT THE WORLD-WAYS BY OUR PARENTS. FROM OUR FIRST STEPS TO THE LAST NAP;EVERYTHING.

MOTHERS ARE LIKE THOSE SPECIAL CREATURES GOD SENT ON EARTH;MYSTICAL, SECRETIVE & ALWAYS MAKING US WONDER ABOUT THEM. THEY ARE AN OCEAN FULL OF SHIP WRECKS & TREASURES WAITING TO BE UNCOVERED; & SOMEHOW STILL MANAGE TO HIDE ALL THAT DEEP DOWN & PORTRAY A CALM SELF OUTSIDE WITH LOW TIDES[ & HIGH TIDES SOMETIMES….WELL THATS DANGEROUS SOMETIME….HMM…MOST TIMES RATHER !!]

I HAVE A SISTER, LIKE A LITTLE LESS THAN A DECADE YOUNGER TO ME. SO YOU KNOW HOW IT IS, EVEN IF IT ISN’T CUSTOMARY IT BECOMES MORE LIKE A MORAL DUTY TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR LITTLE COUNTERPART & PLAY MOMMY WHEN THE ACTUAL ONE IS NOT AROUND.

IT WAS OBVIOUSLY A GAME WHEN IT STARTED. BY THE TIME I HAD BECOME BIG ENOUGH TO THINK INDEPENDENTLY , DOING THE SAME MOM DUTY TO MY SISTER SOMETHING DAWNED UPON ME.

MY SISTER INTO HER TEENS JUST STARTED BEHAVING LIKE I HAD BEEN DOING A FEW YEARS AGO- SUDDEN RAGES, MOOD SWINGS, BACK ANSWERING ETC ETC. JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO YELL AT HER , I REMEMBERED HOW I DID THE SAME THING & MOM HANDLED IT WITH PATIENCE.

IT WAS HER FIRST TIME THEN , HANDLING A TEEN KID & SHE DID IT LIKE A PROFESSIONAL.

I AM STILL NOT A MOTHER BUT THE LOVE THAT I HAVE FOR MY SISTER ISN’T ANY LESS.

I REMEMBERED , MY AMMA , SHE WAS A DAUGHTER TOO .

THE DAY I WAS BORN SHE WAS BORN AS A MOTHER. BUT BEING A MOTHER DIDN’T MAKE HER ANY LESS A DAUGHTER. MAYBE THAT’S WHY SHE WAS SCARED TO HOLD ME THE FIRST TIME, SHE ASKED THE NURSE TO HAND THE INFANT TO HER MOTHER. SHE STILL NEEDED HER MOTHER.

SHE NEVER TOLD ME HOW MUCH PAIN SHE HAD TO UNDERGO TO GET ME INTO THIS WORLD. SHE DIDN’T TELL ME SHE FELT UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT BLOATED STOMACH FOR 9 MONTHS ADDED TO ALL THE DISCOMFORT SHE HAD. SHE WAS A DAUGHTER STILL!!

AS I WAS GROWING UP, A DAUGHTER CALLED UP HER MOTHER EVERY HOUR HAVING DOUBTS ABOUT HER OWN DAUGHTER.

SHE NEVER TOLD ME SHE STILL YEARNED FOR PANEER AND KAJUS IN HER PLATE , ONE MORE SLICE OF MANGO, THE CHOCOLATE THAT SHE WANTED TO HAVE BUT I HAD IT INSTEAD. SHE NEVER COMPLAINED.

I REALIZE ALL THAT NOW WHEN MY SISTER ASKS ME FOR PANEER FROM MY PLATE AND I DON’ WANT TO PART WITH IT.

AS A KID I REMEMBER MAA AS A STRICT PARENT , I HAVE HAD BEATINGS AND ALL[NOT COMPLAINING AT ALL]. IT WAS ALL BECAUSE MAYBE SHE WAS SCARED, IT WAS HER FIRST TIME.

HER FIRST TIME TO EVERYTHING- IT WAS ME!

WHEN I ENTERED TEENS, I SAW TOTALLY TRANSFORM. IT WAS LIKE THAT DEEP , VAST OCEAN FULL OF SHIP WRECKS & TREASURES BEGAN TO UNRAVEL ITSELF SLOWLY. SHE MAYBE FOUND A FRIEND IN ME & I SAW MY MOTHER RELIEVE THAT ” I HAVE TO RAISE HER PROPERLY. I SHOULDN’T MESS UP” TENSION SLOWLY.

WE BECAME FRIENDS . NO NOTHING LIKE THE COLLEGE GANG. THIS WAS WAY BEYOND. IT WAS LIKE WE FOUND THE REAL US AFTER BEING TOGETHER FOR 15 YEARS.

I SAW THE WOMEN I HAD KNOWN FOR SOO MANY YEARS GRADUATING AS A MOM.

I HAVE SEEN HER SACRIFICING SMALL TO BIG THINGS FOR ME. MAYBE SHE WANTED THEM MORE BUT GAVE UP.

I SEE HER BECOME A KID AGAIN WHEN SHE SEES HER MOM.

WHATEVER I AM TODAY , WHETHER GOOD OR BAD,IS BECAUSE OF YOU & APPA.
ALL I WANT TO SAY IS,
THANK YOU. 🙂

MY MOTHER BECAME A MOTHER WHEN I CAME INTO THIS WORLD,
& I BECAME A DAUGHTER WHEN I REALIZED SHE IS A DAUGHTER TOO….

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s